For All The Wrongs I've Done
by Seized Opportunity
Summary: Two hundred and one years. It's that number that causes Alfred to spiral downwards into his self-loathing thoughts. It's these thoughts that cause him to show up in the middle of the night on his brother's door step with only one thought in his mind. "I'm sorry." Brotherly Comfort fic.


For Canada, to have his brother show up on his door step in the middle of the night, it was unusual, but not entirely uncommon. For him to come in the middle of the night and during a blizzard, it was a bit more of a surprise. For him to appear, in the middle of the night, during a blizzard, and looking utterly dishevelled and distressed, not even that was a completely unfamiliar sight. But for his brother to be here, in the middle of the night, during a blizzard, looking dishevelled and distressed, and above all, with tears leaking from his eyes, well, that was something new for the Canadian.

As soon as Canada opened the door, a million thoughts flooded his head. Is someone hurt? Did something happen to his country? Did he do something to another country? All of his thoughts were abruptly ended when America noticed that the door was open, and instantly looked up with sad eyes, and made a simple statement.

"I'm sorry."

Anything that Canada had been thinking had now abandoned him, and he was left with a completely blank mind. Seconds passed, and while still unsure of what to think or say, his subconscious hospitality kicked in and he quickly ushered America out of the cold grasps of General Winter and into his house.

"Uh, Al, why don't you go take a seat on the couch and I'll go grab you a towel?"

"Please stay." Alfred's response was immediate, and so quiet it almost went unheard by the other nation, but the broken tone of his voice left no room for debate in Matthew's mind. Numbly moving over to the couch, Matthew sat down next to his brother, and began to wait. Matthew knew Alfred well enough that, while Alfred clearly had things on his mind, he knew that nothing more would be said until Alfred was ready. So, simply sitting there, Matthew put his arm around his brother's shoulders, and tried to make sure Alfred knew that he was there for him.

They sat this way in the dark for some time, the only noise being the wind whistling outside, and the occasional sniffle from Alfred. During this time, Matthew's thoughts returned to what he had originally been wondering, what could have possibly prompted this? Matthew began sifting through all of the current events that could have affected him in such a profound manner. Normally, when major events that made him upset happened, Alfred would more often than not internalize his grief. Alfred was very strong and independent and preferred to be left alone to grieve, unless it was something so tragic he couldn't. All of that aside, Alfred had said that he was sorry. Sorry what for? Had his country decided to do something that would affect other countries? Matthew then decided that he would not figure it out on his own and opted to wait for Alfred to tell him.

After several more minutes passed, the silence was finally broken.

"I've done so much wrong. I've hurt so many."

Matthew, unsure to what he was referring, remained silent and let Alfred continue.

"Every country I've come in contact with, I just make everything worse. I ruin everything."

"Don't say that Al, you know that's not tru-" Matthew was cut off as Alfred finally raised his voice to above a whisper.

"Don't. Don't even think about trying to defend me. I don't deserve it. I've made everyone's life more difficult. Yours above all." The bitterness present in Alfred's voice would have surprised Matthew more were it not for the fact that this entire situation was a surprise for him.

"Two hundred and one years."

"Wha-" This time Matthew cut himself off, realization dawning on him. "I forgave you about that a long time ago. Besides, the same thing was done to you."

"No! Why do you always do this? I have no right to be forgiven! I have no right to receive your kindness!" At this, Alfred's voice broke, and his shouting returned to just above a whisper. "I have no right to call you my brother."

"Al, where is this coming from? This all can't be because of one anniversary that has come and gone two hundred other times." Alfred more or less ignored Matthew's question, and continued on, as though he hadn't spoken.

"I've done a lot of things to a lot of countries, but the things I've done to you are what I regret the most." Alfred lifted his head for the first time since sitting down, yet he still did not look at the Canadian as he continued, choosing instead to stare into the space in front of himself. "The burning of York. That's just the beginning of the list of things I've done to you. I let you ship your own troops into both World Wars, while I did nothing. I've tried to drag you into wars that neither of us had business being in. I've let you live in my shadow for too long. I've let the world ignore you. And above all else, I let you down. I was never your hero." Alfred stopped and took a breath here, looking like he was collecting his thoughts. Matthew was about to cut in, but Alfred continued speaking before he had the chance.

"All of the things you've done for me. You have helped me out so much, and have always been there for me. I owe you so much. I'm so sorry." Tears began to flow down Alfred's face at a faster pace now, and Matthew figured that this was only the tip of the iceberg, and he didn't want his brother to go into a rant about himself in such a negative manner. Deciding that the only way to prevent that would be to talk before Alfred could, he began to formulate his thoughts. He needed speak before Alfred could dig himself into an even deeper hole of self-misery.

"Al, Look at me." When the American neglected to do so, Matthew switched to a more stern tone. "Alfred. Look at me. Now." Alfred could do nothing but slowly look towards his brother. Expecting to see the loathing on Matthew's face that he felt for himself, he was surprised to instead Matthew's gentle eyes that were glistening with unshed tears, and a small smile on his lips.

"I wouldn't change anything. Everything that has happened and we've still managed to stay close. We had a war between us, and yet we overcame that. Yes, two hundred and one years ago you burned my capital, but I'm no better because I did the same thing to you in retaliation. And I have never blamed you for your participation in wars. While it may have been a bit naïve of your government to think that the problems of Europe wouldn't come to North America, I know that you were the first American to set foot on European soil when the time came. Some of the other battles you have fought, I know very well that you had a role to fill, and you couldn't directly oppose your government's decisions, despite the fact you felt it was wrong. I can't hold any of that against you." Matthew paused for a moment, trying to catch his breath. Alfred looked stunned for a moment, before opening his mouth, ready to deny it all, but Matthew wasn't prepared to let him do that.

"Stop Alfred. You need to listen. You take too much responsibility. It was never your job to make sure the world knew who I was and what I had done. If they can't be bothered to remember me, then let them be, it is not another problem you need to have sitting on your shoulders. You already have so much going on in your life; it's why I try so hard to help you. You are a superpower, a burden I never envied, but one that I did want to help you with. That's why you haven't been able to assist me as much; I don't have the problems that you do. Even so, when I have had troubles, you have been there to help me, and for that I can never thank you enough." At this Alfred made a small shake of his head, as though he were unable to comprehend what he was being told. As though it were all a lie.

"Yes Alfred. You know one thing that makes me so happy every year?" The American gave no answer, but Matthew continued anyways. "The Boston Christmas Tree. Yes, the one that Nova Scotia sends every year now in recognition of the aid provided on the night of the Halifax Explosion. That is just one of the times that you have helped me, and even though we were both overseas at the time, I remember you sitting with me in the medical tent while I coped with the pain. You have always been my hero."

Both of the brothers got far away looks in their eyes as they remembered that night, and many nights before and after. Times, both good and bad, spent together over the centuries. Times that both of them cherished so much.

When they came back to the present they looked at each other, both with tear-stained faces, and then Matthew continued.

"But you know what I want you to remember most of all? That I am your brother, now and forever. I would never trade you for anything in the world, and above all else, remember that I love you."

Matthew then gripped his brother in a tight hug, and for a moment, Alfred just sat there. Matthew was concerned that he didn't make his point strong enough, but then Alfred returned the hug with such force that Matthew almost couldn't breathe.

"I love you too Mattie. Thank you. For everything."

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, or any part of it.

So while I am not happy with how this turned out, I figured I'd posted it anyways. The Burning of York happened from April 28-30 (or so Wikipedia claims), so this is a week early.


End file.
